How to Be a Decent Mom: Forget the What

We mommas focus a lot on the “what” part of parenting. That’s where all of the Mommy Wars come from. Anti or pro vaccines? Co-sleeping or crib sleeping? Home, private or charter school? Breast or bottle feeding?

We should focus on the how. How are you a good momma? Like most of you, I’m pretty proud of what I do with my kids most days. We are all pretty committed and even defensive of our rules, expectations and family culture that we have established.  I’m no different. I love that we go to church, read scriptures and pray as a family. I love that my boys can communicate in two languages. I love teaching them their letters. I love going to the library with them. I love being home together.

What it all boils down to though, is that my kids will remember how they felt when I was with them. They will remember if I was loving or critical; patient or in a hurry; interested or distracted; genuine or annoyed. How do I enforce the rules? How do I teach? How do I interact with them moment to moment?

We all know how we should treat our children. I think we all would like to show them kindness and consideration and love all of the time. I just think we forget when we get caught up in what we need to get done. Sometimes we even forget when we have something really “fun” or “educational” or “special” planned for the kids. We are so focused on the activity (and, let’s be honest, on how awesome of a momma we are for planning said activity) that we tend to be less than patient/kind/loving as we should be.

There’s a chance that I’m alone in this but I have a feeling there are a few more moms out there who can relate to what I’m saying. My goal this summer is to be more patient and genuinely loving with my kids. I hope the feeling in my home can be one of love and joy and fun and safety.